Monday, December 27, 2010

kaki macam nak tercabut. but it's worth it.

all that time standing during ward rounds actually paid off!
well the ones that I attended anyway.

today Rock the World 10 + AFF Suzuki Cup Final first leg.
atmosphere at Bukit Jalil = amazing.
ya allah.
I could literally feel the national pride in the air.
especially lepas menang.
good day good day.
will blog about it later though.
penat sangat.
back to reality in a few short hours.


Wednesday, December 22, 2010


I have this innate desire of pleasing everybody I know.
and the funny thing is.
as I have discovered over the last couple of months or so is that.

that is freaking impossible.
who knew huh?


the end is nigh.

*wipes dust off blog*
*ada orang lagi ke yang baca ni?*

this was definitely the longest break I ever took from blogging.
I'm sure it wasnt really missed by anyone but whatever lah terasa nak sambung balik blogging ni.
tulis blog untuk diri sendiri. bukan orang lain. haha.

bukan sengaja tak nak blog. just that I was busy (hahahaha yeah right) and entah lah didnt really feel like blogging.
benda ni bukan boleh paksa. hahaha cewah.

Yeap I have seen the end of this blog coming for a while.
and it's coming sooner than I expected.
time final year, kerja nanti memang tak akan update langsung.
*cue awwwwww*
*nothing? okay never mind.*

I'm not gonna delete this blog though.
sayang sangat.
macam best friend.
okay sangat loser.

oh future posts will include very very old undrafted posts so jangan pelik if I suddenly talk about something that has happened really really long ago and stuff.
there will also be some new stuff.
okay bye.

new year coming already?

Friday, October 29, 2010

lampu terang (?)

lagu lama tapi best.
suka tengok Matchbox 20 perform.
ceh padahal tengok youtube je.

She got out of town
On a railway New York bound
Took all except my name
Another alien on Broadway
There's some things in this world
You just can't change
Somethings you can't see
Until it gets too late
Baby, baby, baby
When all your love is gone
Who will save me
From all I'm up against out in this world
Maybe, maybe, maybe
You'll find something
That's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around
And come on home
I got a hole in me now
yeah,I got a scar I can talk about
She keeps a picture of me
In her apartment in the city
Some things in this world
Man, they don't make sense
Some things you don't need
Until they leave you
And they're things that you miss
Baby, baby, baby
When all your love is gone
Who will save me
From all I'm up against out in this world
Maybe, maybe, maybe
You'll find something
That's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around
And come on home
Let that city take you in, come on home
Let that city spit you out, come on home
Let that city take you down, yeah
God's sake turn around
Baby, baby, baby
When all your love is gone
Who will save me
From all I'm up against in this world
Maybe, maybe, maybe
You'll find something
That's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around
And come on home
Come on home
Baby, baby, baby
Come on home
Yeah, come on home
Yeah, come on home

best gila matchbox 20.
actually this is not the video got other video please youtube the real one you know which one right okay bye.

p.s. hope all goes well on Sunday. nervous pulak :S

Thursday, October 28, 2010

blok penulis.

or more specifically, blogger's block.
entah lah.
I can't seem to write long blog posts nowadays.
ala dulu pon bukan tulis panjang panjang pon.
what I mean is that write blog posts that MEAN something other than the odd randomity lah.
hahahaha cewah.

takde lah.
what's frustrating is that I got all these things I wanna say and stuff.
and I only have this blog to say it too.
sad? yes. shut up.
so bila tengah mandi ke, dalam jamban ke, mandi sungai ke air terjun ke punya lah banyak idea datang mencurah curah. hadoi.
see what I did there? mencurah curah? because bila mandi ke dalam jamban ke mesti ada benda mencurah curah kan??? kan kan kan? wordplay I tell ya. hahaha.

okay moving on.
so when I get these brain farts I usually remind myself to "okay okay nanti blog pasal tu".
tapi nanti sampai depan laptop je tak tau nak buat apa dah.
block wei block.

hadoi tension tension.
argh whatever.
benda macam ni pon nak tension.
orang lain got bigger stuff to worry about.
bukan ada orang baca pon blog ni.

okay bye.

p.s. kesian Indonesia. bersyukur tak tinggal kat Malaysia? hmmmm.
p.p.s. haha lebron kalah first game! pade muko! :P
p.p.p.s. ada orang cakap muka aku cam Chicarito. *google please kalau tak tau* urgh. muka cam budak kot dia. eh?

Sunday, October 24, 2010

randomity #103

man listening to System of A Down in the middle of the night is
strangely therapeutic.

argh takleh tido.
what the hell.
jogging + nasi lemak DM tomorrow?

p.s. kalau dengar lagu rock lagu yuna lagu lain boleh apa salahnya pasang ayat ayat Al-Quran kadang kadang kan?

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

wednesday morning.

bangun takde ar lambat sangat.
but after yesterday's excursions.
SUKMUM bola.makan chilli.jamming.molesting shaun sempena harijadinya.
was kinda tired all over.
so lepak jap.
then decided to go to class.
yeah I decide last minute one. these days it's like an OPTION to go to class not a NECESSITY.

pastu sesat pergi class. pastu tak jumpa. pastu dah lambat. lecturer dah bengang.
so patah balik.
tengok Unthinkable kat bilik.
then Dexter - Season 5!
pastu menyesal.

okay serious esok kena pergi class.
serious serious please please remind me to go to class tomorrow.
eh petang ni ada class gak?
so how?


Sunday, October 3, 2010

randomity #102

as I looked in the mirror at McD.
I didnt recognize who I was looking at anymore.
who the fuck is that guy?
I didnt use to do all this.
gotta buck up man.

I need to get my life in order.
please God.

tragedi oktober.

alamak dah october?
damn man how time flies.

I think the consistency of updating blogs are indirectly proportional to what year you are in.
this of course only applies if you're a medical student.
in UM.
budak course lain jangan marah.

seriously wei. I used to blog like berpuluh kali (ye ke?) each month.
but now it's lucky if I even reach ten!
theory ini dibuktikan when I check my friend's blog(s) and they all tak update pon.
bukan kita tak nak kay?
just that we're so freaking lazy busy!
hahaha actually I'm not that busy lar.
just that I'm so behind everything right now in life.
I'm struggling to catch up.

pening pening.
I really need to get my life sorted out.
help please?

p.s. man utd seri away lagi? come onnnn lahhhh :S
p.p.s tadi masuk tarik tali!! best gila nak main lagi okay kalau menang takpe gak okay ar sampai quarter! woooo! come on sixers!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

kecundang lagi.

another tournament.
another quarter final exit.
tak kisah lah main futsal luar ke, futsal medic ke, football ke, mesti go out at quarter stage.
dammit lar!
albeit we knew the UIA team was damn good already lar.
mungkin takde luck kot.

face it buddy, you just ain't good enough.
all the cuts, burns, blood, bruises, sweat and tears ain't gonna win you anything.
argh emo pulak.
nasib baik ada returning series like HOUSE and HIMYM and GLEE !!!

gonna be freaking busy this week.
hopefully things will go smoothly without a hitch.

p.s. Man Utd draw away lagi? sigh
p.p.s. hahahaha i flashed my ass at people during one of the futsal games! LEGENDARY! :P

Sunday, September 19, 2010

i've let my guard down... for you.

I actually don't remember if I posted this song before on my blog.
I know a ton of people who already have.
so what's another one right?
lagu sedap, dengar banyak banyak kali pon tak apa.
tak gitu?

Is your favourite colour blue?
And do you always tell the truth?
Do you believe in outer space?
I'm learning you

Is your skin as tan as mine?
Does your hair flow side ways?
Did someone take a portion of your heart?
Now I'm learning you

And if you don't mind can you tell me all your hopes & fears
And everything that you believe in
Would you make a difference in the world
I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation
Only you can make me....

I've let my guard down for you
And in time you will too

And if you don't mind can you tell me all your hopes & fears
And everything that you believe in
Would you make a difference in the world
I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation
Only you can make me....

And if you don't mind can you tell me all your hopes & fears
And everything that you believe in
Would you make a difference in the world
I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation
Only you can make me....

Deeper conversation with me ( x3 )
Deeper conversation....

Does your name rhyme with mine?

p.s. kenyang pergi open house orang :D
first time gi mines tadi. gila jakon :S
first time pergi bowling in a long long time. haha fun!
pergi open house lagi just now. oh kenyang bro.
alhamdulillah syukur.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

"lambat tinggal ar."

now ain't that the truth.


Wednesday, September 15, 2010

love me or hate me.

at McD's Bangsar now.
watching Man Utd trying to break down Rangers.
freaking bored and sleepy.
why am I at Mickey D's you ask?
sebab college DOES NOT HAVE FREAKING WiFi!
until next week pulak tu.
god damn.
kesian orang nak tengok benda yang tak senonoh on the Net.
not me lah. hahaha :P

and the other reason?
you know the newly refurbished tv room? yeah the TV room does not have a TV!
haha apparently they took it out to prevent someone stealing it during the holidays and still tak letak balik.
the thing is in a freaking metal cage.seriously. it's not even a very nice looking TV.

and one more reason?
I'm hungry.
well not anymore.

okay bye. come on you Red Devils!

p.s. Sept 16 is a newly formed public holiday, Malaysia Day.
and I have on call that day.
bodoh tak? bodoh kan okay sangat bengang sekarang.
im freaking busy this week!! 4 case summaries and a VIVA end of posting test!
garrrhhhhh penattt gilaaa!
okay bye.
ice cream RM1 here I come.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

balik kampung.

hey ya'll.
going back to kelantan soon.
oh yeah off to fatten myself up BIG TIME!
jealous tak jealous tak?
okay i'm being annoying.

to all my friends and relatives demo nak mengucapkan selamat hari raya maaf zahir batin.
I would like to say sorry from the end of hair to the end of my feet.
sorry if I said anything or did anything that upset you guys in any way possible.
have a great Raya holidays guys and girls! have a safe one guys. please. ingat lah orang yang tersayang.

apa? nak kad raya?
errr jap.

yeah. nice. miss you Hana!


Wednesday, September 8, 2010


okay. I wasn't sleepy and I was bored so I decided to document the preparation of my sahur today.
warning : much cam-whoring (well takdelah banyak sangat) and poyoness abound.
you have been warned.

healthy. really.

okay so this is what I had :
2 packets of maggi (again) and an egg.
and one packet of that perencah thingy.
yeap just one. for health reasons :P

how to make ? freaking easy :

step 1 : boil ze water.
step 2 : masak the maggi.

looking good.
nothing got burned down yet.

step 3 : camwhore kejap masukkan telur.

i dont like maggi with soup.
so I wait until no more soup lah.

step 4 : wait until finish.
step 5 : sambung camwhore done! enjoy! wooo!

oh yeah that's the stuff.

i wont be seeing you guys for a while so I guess it's safe to put this picture :


this was prepared and consumed within the 15 minutes break of the England-Switzerland match.
which I watched with this fella :

erkkkk syoknya dia tido.

well he was mostly sleeping. but I think he would've enjoyed England's performance.
much better than the recent World Cup.
but seriously, why does he keep picking Wright-Phillips or Matt Upson for that matter. not very fond of them. hmmm.

yay he scored. shame about his antics off the field.

I always get an itch to play after I watch a game on telly.
god knows I need the practice for SUKMUM.
okay that's it.
gotta do some house chores later today.
peace out.
selamat berpuasa.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

randomity #101

cigarettes only have two pro's :

1. great for halau-ing mosquitoes at night. they are very cheap mosquito repellents :D
no really it's true.
tak tipu.

remember when we used to use this?

2. cheap alternative to laxatives.
ni LAGI lah tak tipu.
but I wouldn't know lah. I don't have any bowel problems.

and you guys all know about the cons about smoking.
you know. cancer. coughing.dumbness.retardation.hahaha.what else? birth deformities bla bla bla you've all written this essay in BM before kan? kan kan kan? hahaha.
so just ask yourself.

sikit je pon.

is the enjoyment of a strain-free toilet run or a good night's sleep without getting bitten by those mosquitoes worth the risk?
dont you wanna live long enough to see your children?
dont you wanna be fit and be able to play sports or jog without stopping to catch your breath every 5 minutes?
do you want freaking cancer?
do you want your dick to fall off? or *insert any body part here* to fall off as well???
do you want others to get sick from YOUR cigarette smoking huh?? especially your pregnant wife or your infant child??
ni just in case ada orang macam ni baca blog ni, not referring to anybody here :P
and kalau ada perempuan that smokes, ex-squeeze me, tak hot langsung kay.
*flips hair, tapi takde rambut pon* :S

but he's still smoking innit?

so people. do the right thing.
think about your loved ones.
it's not easy to stop. hahaha. freaking hard , so I've heard.

*you gotta fight, for your right... *

but you got until the age of 30 to quit.
entah lah because I remember some doctor telling us that if you stop by the age of 30, the risk of a (ex)smoker getting CVD is the same as the normal person.
but you gotta stop smoking for 2 years first.
so in reality you gotta stop by 28 years old.
so do the freaking MATHS!

okay. tu je nasihat dari saya.

p.s. I just watched the HIMYM episode where they were trying to quit smoking so that explains this post haha :P
p.p.s. loving the fact that people are posting a lot of notes and videos about ramadhan and islam in general. terima kasih. sejuk hati saya memandang dan mendengar dan membaca. I loike!
previously there was an outburst of cute kitty videos. I LOIKE too! :P
p.p.p.s I havent watched Thank You For Smoking yet. lama dah nak tengok. hmmm.

heard it was good.
dah lama dah actually this movie.

p.p.p.p.s dontcha just hate hypocrites?

pictures from:

Monday, September 6, 2010

why do you read this blog again?

for a while now.
there's always been this question that I KNOW people wanna ask me.
but havent.
or maybe have been wondering about it but tak pernah wonder out loud.
or maybe they have wondered about it aloud but never in front of me.
oh come on you know you do!! :P

I gotta a feeling that someone's gonna bring that up soon.
and I dunno what to answer.
I have answered truthfully so far tapi maybe not the whole truth just yet.
you know me.
aku memang introvert and secretive punya orang.
I think this post is pretty much proof of that.

macam mana eh? go with the flow je ar.
when the time is right, I guess I'll be mature open enough to tell you all.
entah pape entah bukannya big deal pon.

no it's not a question about my sexuality bongoks! I'm straight by the way.
not even about my love life! hmmm perlu jawab ke?
macam contradict je these two sentences. hmmmm. hahaha.

hahaha. good night people. ada headache ar.

p.s. yes dah lama tak blogging. been busy with medical school. well not really busy but just freaking tired. dont have the energy to blog also :S
now I'm back posting random stuff here! so why do you read this blog again?

Monday, August 23, 2010

jangan salah faham.

it's just a real catchy song.
not meant for anyone for anything.
make peace not war ya'll!

okay tido.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

setahun sekali.

selamat berpuasa everybody who is puasa-ing!
ceh padahal dah hari ke 4 (right?) puasa baru nak wish.
tak apa lah yang penting niat ada.

it's so green.

semoga kita take advantage dengan bulan ramadhan ni sebaik-baik nya.
ingat, puasa bukan maksudnya tak makan atau minum only!
*cakap dengan diri sendiri*

oh macam menarik je this website I saw on facebook :
sila sila lah jenguk.

p.s. what? cuti almost finish already? arghhhhhhhhhhhnoooooooooooooooooooooihateeeemedicineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

p.p.s post ni amat melayu kan?
hahahahaha whatever that means.


Thursday, August 12, 2010

panas gilaaa.

I feel like blogging tapi I'm just soooooo lazy to blog properly.
banyak benda yang saya ingin memperkatakan ni.
hahahaa dramatik gila.

but I'm just lazy.
so instead let's watch some Ah-Ha! clips!
you all remember Ah-Ha! don't you?
best. local show. period.
it's like a SNL type of show with sketches and all that.
I'm not gonna put all lah nanti penuh pulak page ni kan pergilah cari sendiri kat youtube.

Teaching English :

Sekolahku :

and the piece de resistance - Along Bukit Beruntung

what's that?
my stomach just burst open.
yeah most of it is just plain dumb.
hahahaha. but it's funny nonetheless.
always brings a smile and a laugh from me.

hahaha sigh.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010


ya Allah help me please.
please please please.

berikan lah aku pertolongan.
berikan lah aku petunjuk.
guide me through this.
forgive me for all my sins.
past and present.
and future.
ya allah.
kerna Engkau lah yang Maha Adil Maha Pemurah Maha Bijaksana.


Monday, August 2, 2010

kadang kadang.

kadang kadang rasa cam bodoh and malu.
bila buat suatu yang unexpected.
towards somebody.

macam cakap hi kat kawan yang lama dah tak tegor.
or be the first one to apologize kalau gado dengan somebody.
or make the first step.

tapi sometimes you gotta do what feels right.
walaupon kawan tu cam buat bodoh je and rasa musykil gila tiba tiba ko tegur dia.
or maybe that person does not give a shit about your apologies.
or kena reject.

you gotta do the right thing.
but you gotta make sure it's the right thing lah.


p.s. tengah main Word Challenge on Facebook.
million times better than studying!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

randomity #100

randomity #100.
never thought I would blog this much.

menyampah betul exam ni.
makes me wanna go to the toilet all the time.
ke I've been eating the wrong thing(s)?

long case rabu.
eh silap.

please pray for me. and my friends.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

saya suka muse.

awak rasa muse suka saya tak?
okay tak masuk akal.

Muse - Neutron Star Collision

I was searching
You were on a mission
Then our hearts combined like
A neutron star collision

I have nothing left to lose
You took your time to choose
Then we told each other
With no trace of fear that...

Our love would be forever
And if we die
We die together
And lie, I said never
'Cause our love would be forever

The world is broken
Halo's fail to glisten
You try to make a difference
But no one wants to listen

The preachers, fake and proud
Their doctrines will be cloud?
Then they'll dissipate
Like snowflakes in an ocean

Love is forever
And we'll die, we'll die together
And lie, I say never
'Cause our love could be forever

Now I've got nothing left to lose
You take your time to choose
I can tell you now without a trace of fear

That my love will be forever
and we'll die
we'll die together
Lie, I will never
'Cause our love will be forever

p.s. saya tak ada apa apa perasaan terhadap movie series Twilight.
Please don't misunderstand me.
Dakota Fanning mungkin. But Twilight?
No way Jose. haha.
She's not that young right? So I won't seem like such a sicko.
don't worry it's just a crush.

nak tido ke nak buat apa ni?

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


gossip gossip gossip.
some people just can't live without it.


p.s. study please.

Friday, July 16, 2010

triple assessment.

huwargh!! *stretches*
penat betol hari ni.
main bola that is.
tak study pon.

faster lah exam over because I wanna watch these movies :

tak paham poster dia.

Chris Nolan (Dark Knight guy) and Leo Di Caprio. ( just saw Titanic the other day haha so young looking that time :P)
word on the Sesame street is this movie is freaking awesome!
nak....... tengok......

ni paham sikit poster dia.

Toy Story 3.
it's been out for a while kan?
by the time finish exam mesti dah habis dah.
hey before you kutuk me or anything.
I was brought up by Toy Story okay.
I mean my generation lar.
so suka hati la aku nak tengok apa.

huhuhuhuh predator.

Another movie I grew up with.
aku open minded maaaa.
semua tengok.
the sequels kinda ruined the franchise a bit though.
especially the AvP series.
the original was the best.
"Get to the choppa!!"
iconic line or what?????!!!

okay nak tido.
jom ar tengok.
jom ar.
jom jom jom.

pictures from :

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


still coughing.
still sleeping when I should be studying.
still blogging while I should be slaving over the books/patient.
haha that sounds wrong.

through my (dirty) window


edit : this post was supposed to be in the evening tadi.
but then internet buat hal.
so buat sekarang lar.
kay bye.

Monday, July 12, 2010

takleh tido.

made the mistake of drinking COFFEE after the final.
now I can't sleep.
I've only slept 1 hour since 8.00am Sunday time.
and I just got a nosebleed just now!

wanted to take pictures but I figured it was going to be too Messi messy.
okay what to do now?

tough luck for the Dutch though.


Friday, July 9, 2010

quick post.

currently having a high fever.
sore throat like hell.
why now? why during study week(s)?
ceh bajet nak study lah tu konon kalau tak demam?

anyway just wanted to write a quick post.
because i'll probably be busy for the next month or so.

i WILL blog my thoughts regarding the World Cup after it's done.
which I think it's best.
so that I could make a summary outta it.
but I have to say, the knock out rounds have been very entertaining!
I would say Spain will just edge out the Dutch.
But I don't mind if the Dutch win too.

exam EOP dah habis.
with that, phase IIIA dah habis.
well, except for the finals lar.
if I dont pass then ada lagi exam lah but obviously hope not lar.
*touch kayu*

klang has passed in a blink of an eye.
it's been fun.
but I really don't wanna be here again.
no offence to Klang people.

great now I'm hungry.
but I don't have any money.
ATM kat hospital pon takde duit.
Why is this happening?
Damn you Murphy and your stupid law!

those panadol pills look mighty delicious right now.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

handling stress.

exam dah dekat.
and as you can expect the stress is getting to us.
us being medical students.
yeah because we're the only ones who still have exams!

I realized that some people deal with stress different ways.
1. some people just get tired of studying and just sleep for a really long time.
2. some people just get tired of studying and start watching a brand new series. for example, How I Met Your Mother.
3. some people just get tired of studying and start do crazy things. like jogging all the way to the futsal place.
4. some people just get tired of studying and wake up late for class and ward rounds. tapi padahal dah prepare the night before. well. prepared-ish lah.
5.some people just get tired of studying and DONT go for said ward rounds. and as punishment, they have to cover the WHOLE FREAKING WARD. together with whoever else who didnt come.
6. some people just get tired of studying and just start taking pictures of the weather and stuff.
7.some people just get tired of studying and start blogging nonsense.

wait. I know of such a person!
oh dammit.
adoi.. kenapa malas sangat ni?

1 was my wednesday. slept at 1. woke up at 1. amazing.
2 is my current state. I've finished 3 seasons in a little less than a week. that has be to some kind of record.
3 was on wednesday as well. takde lah jauh sangat the place. or so I thought. *cramp*
4 was today! I already went to and covered my beds. pastu tak bangun pulak. I hate it when that happens. I know I got nobody to blame but myself but still. It sucks.
5 was me again! So I had to "cover" 9 beds today. in one day. gila apa? I didnt take the full and proper history but still freaking tired. hmmm.
6 was me on last sunday. it was such a nice day. i just had to take some pictures you know?
7 was well, you know by now kan.

written paper on monday next week.
long case for surgery on thursday at UMMC.
after that study week 2 minggu then finals at UM.
time flies huh?

I think I need to watch football.
wish me luck.

p.s. wow that sounds like I studied a lot. hahaha. memang tak ar.

Monday, June 28, 2010

randomity #99

just got back from the bank.
very hot day.

eating hospital punya ice cream under the hot sun.
ohhhhhh terbaik.

the little things are kinda big for me.
okay that sounded wrong.

please Danial jadi rajin.
kejap je.

p.s. please go and taste the hospital punya ice cream.
RM2 for 2 scoops.
get the chocolate chip if you can.
freaking amazing!
you can thank me later.

Thursday, June 24, 2010


england won yesterday.
now I don't support any national teams..
but I do have a soft spot for England.
but I have a certain dislike for Germany.
hmmm. wonder why. *cough Ballack cough*

france are you watching??

stage is set for the ultimate grudge match :
England vs Germany!
so what are the odds that England will lose on penalties?

man to watch.
told you he was good.
hmm hmmmm.

they definitely have to play better to beat Germany.
looking forward to it!
exam? what exam?

bila kau nak score ni?


p.s. I'll blog about the world cupo once the group stages are done.
because I like football and I have a lot time kononnya but actually have to study for finals

pictures from

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

What do you think?

damn coffee has disabled me from sleeping.
wanted to watch the Spain match.
but RTM is not broadcasting it.

nak kejut orang lain.
feel guilty pulak.
hmmm never mind.
that's what Soccernet and Youtube are for right?
I'm a bit hungry too.
Got wards at 8 as well.

hmmmm maybe later.
I actually have plenty I wanna blog about.
But somehow I can't find the right words or never seem to be in the right mood for it.
what to do what to do?


p.s. Spain leading. What a surprise.
note : ayat di atas penuh dengan sarcasm.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

randomity #98

got back from futsal around 11 ish just now.
I have always wondered.
If I could transfer half the semangat I have for futsal/football to my studies, I'd be a hell of a lot smarter.
neways :

how does this even happen??

looks like something just came up and chewed it.
that was not the case.

no pain though.
just ugly.
what's new?


Thursday, June 17, 2010

the only execption.

i think i'm falling in love with Hayley Williams.

When I was younger I saw my daddy cry
and curse at the wind.
He broke his own heart and I watched
as he tried to reassemble it.

And my momma swore
that she would never let herself forget.
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love if it does not exist.

But Darling,
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.

Maybe I know somewhere
deep in my soul
that love never lasts.
And we've got to find other ways
to make it alone.
Keep a straight face.
And I've always lived like this
keeping a comfortable distance.
And up until now I had sworn to myself
that I'm content with loneliness.
Because none of it was ever worth the risk.

Well you are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.

I've got a tight grip on reality,
but I can't let go of what's in front of me here.
I know you're leaving in the morning
when you wake up.
Leave me with some kind of proof its not a dream.

You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.

You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.

I'm on my way to believing
And I'm on my way to believing


p.s. blogger ada banyak layout/template baru!
if I'm rajin, I'll try to make this blog look less emo more colourful.
don't hold your breath though.

randomity #97

susah betul lah bontot besar ni.

were you expecting a picture?
takpe lah. lain kali.

p.s. nasib baik takde game 2.30 today.

actually ada game 2.30.
hahaha didnt know but probably tak tengok pon.
*still yawn*

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

koko krunch baby!

oh hell yes.
tengah lapar gila ni.
and to save money untuk beli iPhone 4
I "borrowed" some cereal and milk next door.
and voila :

oh syukur.
i am blessed.

yeah that's right.
freaking koko krunch at night.
dulu masa kecik I used to take a lot of cereal.
didnt matter whether it was night or day.
didnt matter what kinda cereal. but koko krunch and honey stars and milo was the norm.
i think.
ahhh i missed having cereal.
and when you finished the cereal, and tinggal just the chocolate milk.
and you just sllllrrppp it straight down.
layan siot.

yes I kind of enjoy the simpler things in life.

too bad it wasnt low fat milk.
I was raised on low fat milk.
i mean after breast feeding all lah duh.
dunno why. brown rice too.

okay dah ngantuk.
cereal rocks!

p.s. seriously have you guys seen the iPhone 4?

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

terbaik ar.

This guy is loving it man!
And I'm loving what he's doing.

hahahaha best.
okay ngantuk.

randomity #96

I love talking to God.
he's such a good listener.

okay tak sengaja.

Monday, June 7, 2010

monday morning.

8.30 = woke up suddenly.
remembered Satpal ajak pergi ward.
still sleepy.
yay. okay cuba jadi rajin.
hungry. teringat janji semalam nak puasa.
okay puasa. yay!

bukak pintu.
fucking hot! sunshine in my eyes.
step on floor. wow! panas gila!
went to shower. actually wanted to mandi sejuk. because it was so hot.
thought the cold water would wake me up.

balik bilik.
check news.
Israel being a bastard. as usual. bla bla bla.
Nadal won. damn.
still sleepy.
still in my towel.
slept at the desk.
woke up.
9 something already.
mana Satpal? :O
okay never mind.
pakai shorts.
tido balik.

woke up at 12.
still puasa.
still hot.
still tak gi ward.
im lazy.
and sleepy.
see? the way i'm blogging also shows how lazy I am.

so what now?

Thursday, June 3, 2010

what the?

there's something wrong with this picture.
besides the fact that I'm glistening with sweat that somehow manages to cover up my jerawat-stricken face.

asal jari kecik aku crooked(spelling?) semacam?

I look too freaking happy that's why.
not the way I have been feeling lately at all.
I must've been high.
with adrenaline.

exams are at the back of my mind all the time.
but still I ain't doing shit about it.
berusaha Danial berusaha!
yeah like that ever works.


Monday, May 31, 2010


macam pernah tengok je mamat ni.
from where eh?
oh yeah he was on american idol.
took him a while to get a hit hmmmm kay never mind.

Lets pretend baby
That you've just met me
And Ive never seen you before
Ill tell all my friends
That I think you're staring
And you say the same to yours

And oh, well dance around it all night
And then Ill follow you outside
And try to open up my mouth
And nothing comes out right

And I wanna fall in love with you again
I don't have to try
Its so easy
Who needs to pretend?
But because its so funny
Lets just think about it, honey
Lets just fall in love again

Ill call you in three days
Not too soon, not too late
And Ill ask your roommate if you're home
You call me on Thursday
And well hang out all day
Then fall asleep on the phone

And oh, Ill hold your hand when we drive
And well lose track of all the time
And well tell everyone
That we ain't never felt so alive

And I wanna fall in love with you again
I don't have to try
Its so easy
Who needs to pretend?
But because its so funny
Lets just think about it, honey
Lets just fall in love again

Well fall disgustingly fast
And well stop hanging out with friends
And they'll be so offended

And I wanna fall in love with you again
I don't have to try
Its so easy
Who needs to pretend?
But because its so funny
Lets just think about it, honey
Lets just fall in love again
Lets just fall in love again

yay hujan petang.
yay tido.

Monday, May 24, 2010


why am I suddenly very busy???
present long case on tuesday.
present seminar on wednesday.
present CFCS visit on Wednesday as well.
hantar CFCS report on Wednesday too.

what the?
not to mention studying medicine, surgery, paeds, O&G, PCM, SPM lagi.
which I havent done yet duh.


tension gak kadang kadang.

L O S T has ended already.
I'm very sad.
I havent watched the finale yet.

okay nak gi mandi tak mandi lagi bye.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

gastric Ca sangat common. hahaha.

I've been watching this video all day.
gila smart + funny.
ye saya tau saya malas.

wish that would happen here in the hospital.
tiba tiba semua patient bangun menari and singing.
macam glee pulak.
okay dah mula merepek dah ni.


Sunday, May 16, 2010

randomity #95

I like to drive cars with huge side mirrors.
*jakun mode*

no that's not a metaphor for anything.

p.s. surgery next!
finals after that!
*uber scared*

Saturday, May 8, 2010

baca ni lagi best daripada study. hehe.

I saw this on Facebook and it was interesting so I letak sini lah.

It's from The Star's online blog.
which can be found here.
it's about the "hot" issue regarding Malaysian doctors leaving the country to work overseas.

Why we left and why we will continue to leave...
Posted by: MS Mohamad

I read an interesting article today about a few prominent figures addressing their concern over the increasing UKM and UM medical graduates who have left the country to continue their medical practice overseas.

After reading the news for 3 times, I called a very close friend, an MD (UKM) graduate to ask his opinion on how the news might have affected him. He has been working in Singapore for more than a decade as a Consultant Surgeon with a certain sub-specialty

"Why be a slave in your own country, when you are a king in another?" He replied.

Indeed, if anybody would want to find a reason why all of us left, either after housemanship, after being a specialist, or even after sub specializing, and now, even prior to doing housemanship, they need not look at our payslip, or the wealth that we have gained overseas, but only to the Medical System that has been rotting in the ignorance and politic-based stupidity that Malaysia has been well-known for (in the medical field).

I have served the system for nearly 2 decades of my career, waiting for it to improve for so long, and only finding myself in despair, quitting with a 24-hour notice and serving abroad. The system is, in my opinion, keeping doctors, since the beginning of their career as House Officers to the end of it, in the lowermost priority. When I was working there, doctors are so ill-treated, while the nurses and the medical assistants are overpowering us.

I still remember the days when I was doing seeing patients and rounds as an MO, while the staff nurses would mind their own business, having breakfast in the pantry, or having gossip chats at their own leisure. My House Officers would then have to do merely all the labour-work, up to the extent of setting intravenous drips, and serving medications. If I am to expect the nurses, my patients would have been dead, or the work would have been too slowly or incompletely done.

When I was a House Officer, I had to run down 4-5 floors just to review a blood investigation of a dying dengue patient. The ward staff would either be nowhere around, or will say that he is busy (busier than the doctor?) or the answer I got at that time:

"Doktor nak cepat, doktor turun sendirilah, gaji doktor lagi banyak dari saya"

Even when I was a Specialist, the staff nurses had to be called again and again just to make sure the management plan for the patient would be done. I was already used to answers from them:

“I’m busy with something else"

“My shift is already over" was routine for me.

The Medical Assistants were worse. They would hide behind their so-called boss, the Head of Medical Assistant. They feel hiding behind him would make them not under our jurisdiction, that we have no power to instruct them in managing the patient, that they have power to manage own their own. I've seen them giving medications not as we prescribed, performing procedures without our knowledge, as if they are the actual "Doctors". They are in their own world, and we have to do their job, taking blood, labelling samples, and even cleaning gadgets from the procedures that we have done.

Oh, but the ministry loves this group. They even let them run a clinic now, instead of upgrading the clinics already run by doctors. The government feels that the MAs are very important and should never be ill-treated by those big bad doctors. One time when I was a District Hospital Medical Officer, I was conducting a delivery of a baby. An MA insisted that I remove my car which was block-parking his car. I answered through the phone that I was busy.

He came to the labor room and yelled "Semua orang pun sibuk jugak, macamlah doktor seorang yang sibuk!”

It is insulting that an MA or a staff nurse claims that they are BUSY, as busy as a doctor? As a Malaysian Doctor, I have even worked for 72 hours straight. I have experienced working until my 6 month old daughter did not recognize me at the end of the week.

Is that how busy they are? I am very sure that they are so busy, that they can only spend 2 hours at the nearby Mamak stall, or can only leave at 5:10 PM instead of 5, or can only have 1 hour of lunch.

The management staffs are worse. I have to beg and plead so that I can get my on-call claims, of RM25 per 48 hours of work. While sitting in an air-conditioned office, they will at their own leisure, process my call claims so that I will receive them by the next decade.

The state health or Hospital Director would just give another inspirational talk (of bollocks) on team effort and beauty of teamwork.

That is how Malaysian doctors are treated in the government sector: without respect, without dignity and without significance. Why?

It is because we are bound by ethics to try our best to save lives, despite how ill-treated we are. We hardly have time to complaint because we are too busy or tired, and we would rather spend the precious time resting or seeing our loved ones. The burden of trying to save lives is on our shoulders alone. No MAs or Staff nurses would shoulder it with us. They have their own bosses: the Sisters, Matrons, or Head of MAs, which job description is to ensure that the big bad doctors will not ask their underlings to do extra work.

This is how the Malaysian Ministry of Health have treated their doctors. I am very sure that in each and every doctor, there is a slowly-burning patience in serving the Malaysian people, which will eventually fade and cause them to surrender to serving a place that treats them better.

A few colleagues who graduated from UK choose to serve there:

"The pay is more, and we get the respect we deserve"

Another works in Brunei:

“Here the staff nurses respect Malaysian doctors, and they are very co-operative" (He ended up marrying one)

A few are consultants in Singapore (working with me):

"Here we are treated well, we spearhead the management, and every else do their work to the best of their capabilities".

A few even enjoys working in Indonesia:

“The work-load is horrible since there are a lot of patients, but we are well respected by every hospital personnel" (They have migrated there for nearly a decade)

I am sure that people will see doctors as power-hungry individuals who want to be the boss in the hospital. Trust me, after having graduated 6-7 years of medical school, earning a DEGREE, and subsequently MASTERS, and SUBSPECIALITY, you would expect a degree of respect and being considered important. We are trying our best to improve patient's quality of life, or making sure he lives another day. Is it too much to ask from the system that we are important?

I find that Malaysia is the only country that is making doctors' lives miserable and treated like rubbish. It was never about the pay in the first place. It is about the treatment we are getting and the false political-based promises. Do you know that the so-called circular about doctors can have the day off after working 24 hours straight released JULY 2009 is not yet implemented? Do you know that the raise of UD 41 to 44 does not involve every doctor in the government service?

We are waiting for improvement. We have waited a long time when we were working in the system. Somewhere along the line we decided to leave and wait outside the system. Until the system changes, we will continue to work overseas, in countries which are appreciative of us. Trust me, Malaysian-graduate doctors are considered highly skilful and competent in neighbouring countries, and the 15 % brain drain is more significant than you think.

We will return when the system prioritize us and gives us the quality of life we deserve.

If it stays the same, Malaysian Hospitals would end up having Staff nurses and Medical Assistants as "Doctors", and we would have to send patients to Indonesia for an appendicectomy.

Hear our voice. We hardly speak, but will usually fade away from conflict (and fly to another place).

that was fun kan?

okay sambung tidur study.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

randomity #94

if I ever get the chance to see One Republic perform live.
I would probably cry.

layan gila lagu dia.
haha. kan best kalau boleh nyanyi macam dia?

okay nite.

alololo sweet nya.

you have maybe seen this video making the usual rounds on the web already.
via Friendster, Facebook, Myspace, Yahoo or whatever.
but sweet is it not??

too bad the cat didnt wake up the end.
I guess you can't always get happy endings.
yes it is safe to say I'm a cat person.
speaking of cats.

it's a he by the way.

he's one of my batch mate's punya kucing.
I dunno where he got it from.

end of posting test next week!
finals makin dekat.
takut gila.

p.s. 3 of toes currently don't have nails.
as I have removed them as it was damaged.
yes it does look gross.

p.p.s. setiap kali balik ceramah mesti rasa semangat and inspired.
doesn't last long enough though.


Tuesday, May 4, 2010

perlukan awak sekarang :(

i like this song.
is it true??
mmmm hhhmmmmmm.
i do i do i dooooo-ohhhh.

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

woah woaaah.

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

I just need you now

Ooo, baby, I need you now


jap or do you like this one better?


she looks like Emma Watson aka Herm-own-ninny kan?
perdy. *giggles* and sings really well too.

okay bye.